One might ask why I have been writing about pain. Everyone will experience pain throughout their life. The reason that I write about my pain, is to show you that there is hope. To show you that you are not alone in your storm. I will not write about all of my pain because I would cause pain for others. What I have written should be enough to show you that I understand your pain. If you read something, you might say to yourself, “She can’t understand what I am going through. She would not love Jesus if she was going through my pain.” Beloved, everyone will go through challenges. The question is who is going through therm with you.
Let me add one more thing. Every time God calls you to do something no matter how small or large, you will have a crisis. The intensity of the crisis will depend on what God ask of you. Your crisis will be matched plus a little more to what God wants you to do. At the beginning the scales will be tilted in favor of Satan, When you are alone on that scale, there is such a difference. With prayer the scale will change the tilt. Then when Christ enters your circumstance, the scales move in your favor.
Sometimes I may write down a thought. One thought may be just one sentence. Sometimes a few sentences. They may be on a different piece of paper. Sometimes these thoughts are disjointed. I would like to share what I wrote down this week. t There is no flow or rhyming. Just some thoughts,
My Lord,Your voice is like a whisper in my heart. You are always there, whispering. You break through my hurt and pain. You remind me that I am yours…You give me new life with your breath. You renew my heart and mind. You take my tears and put them in your heart,. Then You give my heart a new song. You have inscribed in my heart, Your love and faithfulness. Why do I allow worries to enter my heart for I know You are with me. For deep in Your heart I see my name,. In that Holy silence we share our hearts. You know my name. When I look in Your heart, I see Your blessings. I will look back and see Your love. I will look back and see how you use my suffering for Your glory. I will see Your suffering more clearly. I will have your love within all my being.
My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies, and from those who persecute me. Make Thy face to shine upon Thy servant, save me in Thy loving-kindness. Psalm 31:15-16
God will rescue me and help me to put on His armor. With His gentle whisper, He reminds me that I wear His helmet of salvation and that He is with me. He chose to smother me with His love, under His wing. It is there that I gave my worship and praise. His love will never let me go. His faithfulness is mine to keep. Why would the One higher than all, reach down to me and fill me with His presence.
Your love and Mercy look at me and hopes that I stay on the path that You have for me. Oh my Lord, the One that will gently pull me back with a .love so strong. You always pull me back to You, time and time again. Then once again You pull me close and put me under Your wing so I can heal from the wandering that I receive from stepping away from Your path.
My Lord, I do love you. I thank You for choosing me, so I can have you as my God. I am your Beloved. How beautiful is Your name. I will always keep Your name on my lips. My Lord Jesus, I love you.
The above words were written right after my prayer.
Decades ago, God took my vanity and He decided to use it to grow my faith.
Some of the ladies of our church I attended, would eat at various restaurants once a month. I did want to join them but I felt that one needed to be invited. They did ask me. Yes, it brought joy.
The day came and after I got all my children prepared for a day at school. Now, it was time for me. I wanted to look good like the other ladies. This was before curling irons. I only had a hooded hairdryer. So my make-up was applied and probably a prayer or two. My hair and dress followed.
It looked like it was about to rain but I was only about 5-8 minutes from the restaurant. I thought I could make it there and get inside the restaurant. I was wrong. A heavy downpour began before I got to the restaurant. I parked the car. I watched the rain. I watched people run to the restaurant. I watched people run from the restaurant to their car. All were soaked, I said, “Lord, I worked so hard on myself.”
I do not know who authored the next thought. Did the thought come from me? Did the thought come from God? The thought was, “The Red Sea, it was parted.” “OK God, I worked too hard on me. I paused, then said out loud, “Would you part the rain?” A few seconds later, I noticed a lady from our group getting out of her car. So I opened my door and jumped out. There were no umbrellas. We both arrived at the restaurant doors at the same time and stepped inside. The lady looked at me and said, “How are you not wet?” I did reply, “I did ask God to part the rain.” I really did not dwell on what happened. Maybe I should have done so.
Well, for another step.I have to go back to 1968-1969 in Key West, Florida. There was not much there then. There was a Naval Hospital, base, one shopping center (what we now call strip malls). I can not remember if the grocery store was there or elsewhere. There was a drive-in. One evening we were going to the drive-in and came face to face too, I guess, a waterspout… We were so close that I could see the water swirling around. I don’t remember seeing what happened to this monster so I guess I closed my eyes. We went to the movie. We saw so many of these things dropping out of the sky. The highest that I could count at one time was 20. One would come down out of the sky and go back up w3ith two taking its place,
Now, let me tell you about the thunderstorms. The highest point on the island was the Naval Hospital. Then the movie screen. I think our palm tree came next., The island is only 3-feet higher than the ocean. You could hear every part of a storm. You could hear lightning crackling its way to the ground. Except for the naval hospital, the movie screen, palm trees were the highest points on the island. Yes, I had a palm tree next to my trailer.
Now let us throw hurricanes into the mix of things. We were told that when a hurricane was headed our way, we were to move all the furniture to the middle of the room. How is that really done in a 10-foot wide trailer? Beds took up the whole room except for a two-foot walkway. We were to take coconuts off of any palm trees. We were told to sterilize our bathtubs, sinks, and anything that could hold water. Water was piped to the Keys which had broken in the past. After that, we would go to our shelter. Ours was in the out-patient surgery room. We slept on the floor with a sheet and a pillow. I prayed asking God to not let the hurricane reach us. God was good to this frightened young mother. It stalled about 90 miles from us and then just died. Our stay there was only for a year, That was long enough to imprint fear in me. But I forgot about it until last year, when a hurricane was heading for where my daughter and family lived. Yes, I prayed.
We moved back to Arkansas. Home of tornadoes. I am so thankful that we lived in houses with basements. Every time there was a tornado warning, I would tell the kids to get in the basement while I would grab my dog (Yorkie), my purse and Bible (I have too many notes in my Bible for it to perish.).
One time I was not home when a tornado appeared. It was probably a “0” on the scale. I was less than 4 minutes from home. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I saw fire shoot out of some motor on the top of a grocery store. The red lights stopped working. But I did not see anything. I was only about 3 minutes from my house. My children would be walking from the bus stop in about 5 minutes. Finally, I got through the light and headed home. I saw a carport up in a tree. When I saw that, I yelled, “God, my babies.” I turned on the road to our house. I did not see any destruction. Later I found out that my children were walking home at the time all of this was happening. In the same lot of the grocery store was a Wal-Mart. The back wall came down. There was some destruction in the block after my road. It was the back of a golf course, Apparently. the tornado lifted up when it came to my road and put down again a block after my house. God took care of my children. I have heard two other tornadoes above me.
Now we need to move to the 1990s. I do not remember what year everything you have read came together. Although God had been protecting my family, I still was fearful. One evening, we had an outbreak of tornadoes. I was glued to the tv following each tornado warning., My husband had to work late. I do not remember if any of the children were home. Some were married and others in college. My youngest was still here but I do not remember if she was home or elsewhere. A tornado hit or was spotted in a town about 30 minutes from my home. The tornado was heading my way. I let fear consumed me. All I once I yelled without thinking about what to say, “God, remember when you parted the rain for me, please part the storm. A few minutes later, the storm parted.
I started doing this when I would become afraid. God always parted the storm or it wasn’t anything when the storm arrived here. I did not share this with anyone. I thought I should have been stronger.
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul. Psalm 94:19
One evening, a year or two later, my husband came home, looked at the TV and said, “Look, God parted the storm.” So I told him and my youngest daughter about asking God to part the storms when I was afraid. Now I had a husband and a daughter that knew what I was doing. After my youngest daughter got married, she would come in sometimes telling me not to ask God to part the rain because we need rain. I always told her the truth that I was not the one causing a drought.
I do not know if God will continue to part the weather or not. I generally don’t ask Him anymore. I did ask God a few decades ago, why He developed my faith in this matter. Or is this a stepping stone for something in the future. God did not answer. Maybe it was just to tell others my story so they will not be afraid to ask God about________whatever you need at the moment. Please do not contact me to pray about the weather. I will not do it. Develop your faith. Trust in Him. You are His child. Love Him for He is pure love. Lay your love for Him at His feet and watch His Love engulf you.
This is a picture of my spina bifida child. There is so much joy in her.
God has a purpose for your pain. A reason for your struggles, and a reward for you being faithful. Don’t give up. Amen
I do not know who said the above, but I believe it. I have seen the pain my daughter endured. I have endless pain and can not take many medications that are given to us by the doctors. But I do know that I have a loving God. Yesterday I experienced God filling my heart to the point that I thought my chest would split wide open. As I mention in “Enter The Throne Room of God” I completely forgot to ask God to heal me. All I could do was cry tears of love. Now during this time with the Lord, there was no pain. But there was pain after the time with God. When I went to my Bible Study last night (Bible Study Fellowship)., I was in pain and was shaking when I arrived at my classroom. I did not notice when it all stopped. One of the ladies mentioned that I was not shaking. There was a lot of joy in that room for our Lord Jesus. We talked about it for a moment. One may not know if someone is watching you. You may be an inspiration to others. You may be an answer to someone’s prayer. That is why I must trust God while enduring endless pain.
There are so many in this world that suffers endless physical pain. And just as many suffering emotionally, mental and spiritual pain. This is the main reason I started this blog. My Hope is that by sharing things in my life, it may help others find courage. It helps to know that you are not the only one suffering. You are never alone. Jesus can be with you.
What do you say to the God of all? What do you say to the God you love? What do you say to the Creator of all things? What do you say to a presence of Love when it is unfolding within you. What do you say to the one that broke down your walls to save you? What do you say to the beauty of God’s Love which heals your soul and spirit?
I know many do not understand these things. Even Christians may not understand. I only know if you endure these things, Jesus will reward you. But we do not do things for a reward. We do things to prove to the world and the heavens that no matter what happens, we love our Lord Jesus. (Ephesians 3:10) Let everyone see You in me.
I will lift my eyes to you, my Lord. In my pain, I will rest in Your loving arms. Even Your shadow brings comfort. Council me while I sleep (Psalm 16:7). Let Your mercy always be upon me. Open my heart and show me Your will. I surrender my will to You. Help me to live in Your will. Give me the courage to fulfill your will. Forgive me of all my sins so that you may fill and live in my heart for an eternity. I was lost and you found me. Thank you my Lord Jesus.
Such sweet courage.
I have seen this child curled up on the floor crying in pain. I have seen her when a sheet on the bed caused her pain. I remember her saying, “God knows what He is doing. I remember the car spinning and spinning and heading for an overpass and she cried out “Jesus Save Us Now.” In an instant, Jesus did save us. It was like he took the car and parked it on the side of the road. Precious memories to praise God.
