I started, “Enter The Throne Room of God with these words:
In an instant, everything changes. You run to God and fall on your knees while a roaring thunder rolls with pain through out your whole being.
The emotional, mental and spiritual pain caused a physical pain. In my case, I do not believe it was a heart attack. Although I did ask God to take me home that night because I did not think I could handle this storm. I most definitively did not even want to try. When I woke the next morning and was still here with nothing being change, and I was angry at God. I was angry because He did not want to take me home.
I guess the only thing that I did right was I did not stop talking to God. It was a way of life before the storm. I could not let go of Jesus. I need His love. There were times that I felt so alone. The Holy Spirit helped me to hold on and remember His love.
At that time I was sitting under an excellent teacher/preacher and did in dept Bible studies with word studies. Plus the Lord had me doing Bible Study Fellowship (bsf.org) . I thought the knowledge I had gained found a resting place in my heart. Looking back, this probably is what gave me strength to go forward. Everything was tested and put through the fire and whatever else was in the mix. No one could see the dept of my pain that filled my soul. In the dept of my soul I knew Jesus must be there collecting my tears. I lost my oldest daughter to cancer when she was 14 and knew Jesus never left me then. I survived that pain. I thought this pain was deeper so maybe I just could not feel Jesus because of this pain.
Although knowing how He helped me and always there, I believed a lie. I thought God had favorites and I was not one of them. My faith became weak. My prayer life stopped. I am thankful that did not last a long time.
God is so patient with all of us, especially things concerning me. There are scars but Jesus has a healing hand on those scars. I survived and feel a deeper love from the Lord and He is helping me to love Him even more each day. Jersus heals and binds our hearts together. He keeps me on His mind. He is a caring God.
I remembered Him and His love when the doctors told me I had arthritis and thyroid problems. I stilled loved Him and praised His name. I remembered His goodness when the doctors said I have Parkinson?/ Positional tremors. I still loved Him when the doctors told me I have degenerative disk disease. God came to earth as Jesus to give me life for eternity. I remembered His great love when the doctors told me I had cancer. Yes, I ask God to heal me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritualy.
Each new day brings rejoicing songs in my heart for the God who saved me for rejoicing Him for eternity. He has an everlasting love. A never ending love for me with my name, Diana, inscribed in His hand (Isaiah 49:16).
May the angels and demons know that God’s children will love Jesus without seeing Him and when bad things happen to us, we will still love Him.. Jesus died on a cross, so we would have the riches of heaven. Only Jesus forgives us and loves like no other. I am a witness of this love.
Beloved ones of God, the Lord Jesus is patient with us and helps us to get through difficult times. He is holding our hearts but we do not know it because we are consumed by whatever. (My lie was I was not God’s favorite. He does not have favorites.) He waits to share truth with us. It is because we did hold on to each other that God shares truth with us.
God does heal our spiritual blindness that one develops in the midst of things, to share truth. He waits for all of us with an open heart and wide open arms. The same heart and wide open arms that were on the cross. Run to Him and softly weep on His blood stained robe.
He takes the lies that we have believed and the pain we have suffered and replace them with His wonderful truth. Can you hear His love calling you.
If you are under a severe attack from Satan, find a safe resting place. You must find this place so you can begin to heal. God will use His other children to help you find this resting place. When you have been destroyed emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and maybe physically. Do not travel this road alone. Have a physical person that can hold you as you weep. They will help you.
You are a precious treasure to God. “Believe this my precious love, you are a jewel. A jewel inscribed in my hand. A jewel placed in my crown so you can share my kingdom. I chose you. You are far from home but I am coming to show you the power of my Love. Will you wait in your love for Me just a little longer. Hear my love calling out to you. Sing your praises. I love you with an everlasting love. Allow Me to pull you closer as you endure your journey. Behold, I am going to send an angel before you to help you and bring you into the place which I have prepared for you with many rewards.”
Note: I have been married twice and it was a biblical separation.